January 16, 2014
The Power of Pink
Two weeks have passed and this hasn’t gotten any easier for me. On the cusp of a new year and a clean slate, I lost the only grandparent I’ve ever had a relationship with; my Grammy. Gram was a mother of four, grandmother of nine, and a great grandmother of one. For most of her life she was a single parent, a hard worker, avid sports fan and shopper, and an unsuccessful gambler. Gram lived right downstairs my entire life and I’m still struggling with the fact that she’s not there anymore. Gram was a six year breast cancer survivor when she left us.
Since writing is the only way I know how to express myself, I thought it best to write a letter to Gram and post it where my feelings are most often read.
Thank you for not being like every other grandma I’ve heard stories of. Thank you for not reading me bedtime stories but for teaching me how to play Bingo and Yahtzee. Thank you for the shirts you used to get me when I was little that had hand painted celebrities and characters on them. Thank you for conversations we would have where we were both cursing our heads off. Thank you for saying “so what” when Mom told you that I was gay. Thank you for never saying “goodbye” on the phone because that was your trademark. And I’m sure I speak for all nine of us, when I say thank you for many memorable Christmas eves and many matching clothes.
Some of my best memories with you are ones that took place in your living room. When I was younger we used to watch ice skating and Riverdance and I would pretend that I could do both. Every time I bought a new dress, Mom made sure I tried it on downstairs to show you. You always made me spin. And I remember many times playing Lego’s, coloring, and playing with that metal circus set you had on the floor while you watched TV.
You used to take me and Gea to school a lot in your station wagon. We always had Burger King breakfast. And I remember one time when we were younger, we had all gone crabbing and you were so mad when we were throwing trash out of the windows of your car while we were driving.
Even though I couldn’t get there often enough, I enjoyed taking care of you whenever you were in the hospital. If things weren’t being done right, I made sure I got things done and that always made you laugh. Especially that time you had to share a room with two other women, one of which was out of her mind. That was a fun night.
I loved being best grandchild for a short while after I bought you a $1000 winning scratch off. Unfortunately the hundreds I’ve bought you since then were not as lucky. Christmas morning was the last time I saw you. I had bought you scratch offs yet again. You only scratched a little and then made me finish them because I had bought you the pain in the ass ones. But you won $12, and I promised to get you easier ones. Your winning tickets are still with me, I won’t cash them.
You were the center of this family and things will not be the same from this year on. We are all not the same and I am not the same. You were the only grandma I have ever known let alone the only grandparent completely in my life. You were one of my biggest fans and I know you will continue to be. I know the relationship you had with Mom and many times we both laugh because it seems me and her are becoming the both of you. I treasure her so much more now that you are gone. Rea and Aunt Joan are so lonely without you here but I promise to keep them company the best I can. I’m sorry that you won’t be there when I graduate or when I get married but I know you will be in my heart. There are many more things for me to say to you but I know those will be shared between us.
I love you and miss you so much Gram. Watch over us all.
In Loving Memory of Gloria Falconiere
September 22nd 1932 – December 30th 2013
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